A Sense of Purpose

We all go through life looking for a reason for our existence. Some of us find that in our ability to carry out God's desires for ourselves, some focus on their careers or material things, and sadly some are always searching and never find their reason. I spent a good amount of my college years "searching" and never finding. That was also the period in my life when I thought that I could get by just fine without Jesus in my life. How wrong I was!

Shortly after my 21st birthday, I decided to go back to the Catholic Church. I had been so angry at the Catholic Church for all her rules and restrictions. It felt like the church wanted me to live a life that wasn't possible. Who could participate in all these "extras" that are often criticized by other faiths? These extras like the Rosary, Adoration, the Sacraments, Stations of the Cross, daily mass; it was just too much for one person. My heart had hardened and I didn't want to see what God was trying to show me. It wasn't about all the rules and restrictions. It was about God and growing closer to him through my relationships with Christ, the Holy Spirit and our Eternal Mother, Mary.

It wasn't long after I began going back to church that I met Brian. At the time, I thought this was just luck, but it was all a part of God's plan. Brian is and always has been an extremely devout Catholic. I remember in the early years of dating and marriage, the only heated arguments we got into were about the Church. I was still a Cafeteria Catholic, picking and choosing what I felt my human mind knew better that God himself. Talk about a lack of humility. Brian accepted the Church and her beliefs in their entirety, without question or doubt; such a childlike faith and one to emulate.

Jacob was born in April 2007 and I realized at that point I needed to get my act in gear. Up until that point, I had been teaching things to my Catechism kids that I didn't even believe, but I knew I had to teach it. Perhaps that was how God began to soften my heart. The next year, I searched long and hard, was challenged by some Protestant friends and slowly began to understand my Catholic faith more fully! I started going back to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and talk about grace. The grace received from the Holy Spirit when the priest speaks those words "Your sins are forgiven". Of course, it is not the priest forgiving our sins, but rather Christ who comes to us through the priest. It is so powerful. This is truly the most peaceful feeling in the world and the presence of Christ is undeniable . I started going to church every week, never missing mass and receiving the sacrament of the Eucharist whole heartedly. To kneel humbly in God's presence is such a powerful experience and so peaceful. For about 15 minutes, Christ resides in our bodies and after that, the Holy Spirit has given us the grace to seek Jesus and continue to remain in communion with God.

I began to see that all these "extras" were not just things to do to earn salvation like I had once thought. It was about my relationship with Christ and being in communion with Him. Through the graces received in these sacraments, I am given the strength to live my Catholic faith to its fullest. When we allow our little light of Christ to shine, we can change the world by how we live. Of course, I am human and there are times that I do not represent Christ in my thoughts, my words and what I do. Our God is a forgiving God and as a result, I can ask for forgiveness and keep trying to live a life that is pleasing to God. In saying the Rosary, going to adoration, I am strengthening my relationship with Christ. It is no secret that in order to have a relationship with anyone, you have to spend time with that person. Christ is no different. He commands our attention and desires us to love him more fully so that we can experience His love and graces! My mom was just here a week ago and she taught Jacob a little prayer that I had forgotten. It is absolutely beautiful!

Dear little Jesus,
come to me.
All my love,
I give to thee.

In order to grow closer to Jesus, we must achieve this childlike faith. Jesus commanded this of us in the Gospel of Luke:

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it. Luke 18: 15-17

So, what is your reason for existence? Are you here to serve the Lord or to serve the world? As a mother, my reason for existence is to help not only my husband, but also my children to achieve salvation. It is through my efforts with them, that I grow as a Christian and am challenged to live in communion with God. I am thankful and grateful that Christ has revealed himself to me through my husband, my children, my family and friends, and the Church. I can joyfully participate in these "extras" that help me to grow closer to Him. I wish that everyone could experience these as well.

The gift of life and the gift of the Catholic church are the greatest gifts my parents ever gave to me. For that, I am eternally grateful to them! I hope that I can live a life worthy of Christ and show the world how good He is.

My prayer today is this:

May the Holy Spirit burn in us the desire to seek a deeper relationship with Christ so that we may show the world Christ's love and joy!