Noah's Birth

Noah's birth, just like any babies, was a miraculous event that will always hold a special place in my heart! So here is a recap of his birthday week/weekend:

My mother arrived from Iowa on Wednesday evening, May 26th. Brian was working a trauma shift that evening, so I loaded the boys up and we headed to Killeen, TX to pick her up. After a good night's rest, we were up and at it early Thursday morning. We took a trip to Target, ran some errands in Temple, took naps, went down to the lake and just spent some quality time with my mom! My mom and I went to Temple to get a refreshing pedicure, I couldn't go to the hospital without polished toes!

The night before your child is born is always stressful and restless. I watched TV until about midnight and then finally went to bed. I tried to enjoy those last few hours of him moving inside of me. I woke up around 4am and got on the computer. I was wide awake and anxious for 7am to arrive. I got back to sleep around 5:15am only to awake to my alarm at 5:45am. Time to get showered and make-up on! The boys awoke at 6am, I did my final packing and we were out the door by 6:15am.

My last picture as a mommy of two! I was thankful the boys woke up before we could leave so I could say goodbye to them. I'm sure my mom felt otherwise, but I had left plenty of donuts for her to feed them with. You can see Caleb with a piece of bread, he absolutely loves bread!

On our way to the hospital, we stopped at Shipley's Donuts. I picked up 2 dozen donuts for the nurses and OR staff on the L/D Floor. Brian got a kolache and coffee! We arrived on the L/D floor at 7am and were quickly walked back to the pre-op area. Things moved slower this time than for Caleb's delivery. Our nurse seemed quite incompetent and that worried me. She acted as though she didn't know what she was doing. She couldn't get the IV started and had to ask for help. She didn't seem to know where anything was, so I quickly gathered that she was new to S&W. After seeing the doctors before surgery, it was time to be wheeled in. I was in my hospital gown, booties and a lovely hat. I had previously drank some nauseating cocktail that would help with any reflux during the surgery. All it did was make me feel sick to my stomach. Before I left, I said goodbye to Brian and started to cry. I didn't want to have surgery, I didn't want to go thru this, but all of that was quickly put to rest because I was about to meet my baby. Prior to the c-section, he was bouncing and dancing in my belly. The nurses were laughing at how much he was moving and enjoyed watching my belly.

This is my last pregnant picture, just before I went to surgery!

As I walked into the OR, a strange fear came over me. The lights were so bright, the tables all so blue from the sterile drapes and everything looked so foreign. I spent many months working in an OR after I got out of school, so you would think it wouldn't be so intimidating, but it is when you are the patient. You feel completely vulnerable and out of control. The OR is so cold and uninviting. I sat on the table while Paul set up for my spinal. They numb your back first and then put in the large needle with the medicine. This part hurts very little, but if they miss the space, then they have to knock you out for surgery. So, this part always scares me because I don't ever want to be asleep for a child's birth again. After the spinal was in, they laid me down on the table, I immediately became numb and my legs felt like they weighed 400 pounds. The nurse began to prep my belly! Dr. Fothergill came in with Dr. Leslie Ablard and surgery began. I felt a small amount of tugging and heard the caudery as they burned my flesh. It is not pleasant to lay on an operating table smelling your own flesh burning. Within minutes, it was time for Noah to come out.

Noah's head coming out

Noah is almost out!

Here comes Noah!

Welcome to the world Baby Noah!

Hearing those first cries is nothing short of a miracle. I have never cried when my children come out, of course with Jacob I was asleep and for some reason with Caleb I never did. I was so calm and happy, but never cried. With Noah, the flood gates opened and hearing those first few cries was such a welcome noise...it blended right in with the chaos in our lives! Noah cried briefly and then calmed down quickly. After those initial cries, he was very calm. Brian left my side to be with him and I was so surprised when he weighed in the smallest at 8 pounds 9 ounces. They brought him over to me and it was so wonderful to look at him. When he first came out and they held him over the curtain, I immediately felt like he looked just like Caleb. We also thought he had red hair, there is definitely a hint of it, but it was a medium blonde! It was definitely the lightest of all my boys. There is nothing like seeing your child for the first time and whether the 1st or the 3rd time, it is equally joyous and important. Noah was perfect from head to toe without a single imperfection. Even the two older boys had those raspberry marks on the back of their necks (hidden by hair) but Noah didn't have even that. Brian and I held him and marveled at this new life, created by God, brought into this world by us. There were many prayers of thanks! The rest of the surgery went quickly because I was so focused on my new little man. I kept remarking how little he was and Dr. Fothergill was laughing himself, saying "Jessica, it is funny to hear you remark about how little he is, but he is not a little baby." Well, he was to me! ;-)

Surgery went very quickly. I had very little scar tissue but the Dr. revealed why I have never been able to have a vaginal birth. Apparently, I have a very prominent sacrum that would never allow the babies to drop into the birth canal. So all I can say is, Thank God for Modern Medicine or I probably would have never survived child birth in the past, and for sure my children would not have.

The rest of the day went well and my recovery from this surgery was quick. I experienced quite a bit of vomiting after the surgery from the spinal. They finally gave me some drugs that quickly put me into La-La land and I was saying some pretty foolish things to Brian and he was able to enjoy a good laugh or two. Noah immediately latched on in the recovery room and has been my best nurser yet! He was so calm and sweet for those 2 days in the hospital that I knew his personality would be quite mild!

Noah just a few minutes old

Noah getting his first bath by the nurse

My beautiful little Gerber Baby

Dr. Paul Dillon

Brian and I in our first picture with Noah

Still in the operating room and ready to be wheeled to recovery

The 4 most important men in my life!

Jacob and Caleb getting to meet Noah for the first time!

My sweet Angel!

Still pretty fresh!

Mommy and her little men!

My mom brought Jacob and Caleb up to the hospital around 11am. I had been transferred to the post-partum floor and was feeling very good, just tired! Jacob was so excited to meet his little brother and Caleb just followed suit with what Jacob was doing. They both wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle and Caleb was quite concerned about the IV in my arm. Jacob was also concerned about my safety and how I was feeling. I reassured them that all was well. They immediately wanted to hug, kiss and hold Noah...both of them! They were so gentle and kind to him and that has yet to change. I gave Jacob a Digital Camera to take pics of the new baby with and Caleb got a talking Elmo doll. I wanted to make them feel special and not just focus on Noah. They both got to hold him and I enjoyed seeing my three boys together for the first time. God is good! My mom took them back home and stayed with them for the remainder of the evening. Brian went on call at 5pm and started a trauma shift the following morning at 7am. He was on until some time around 10am and headed back to the cottage to sleep! He came back about 4:30pm to take me home. I was going to stay in the hospital until Monday am, but because the census was so low, they were going to have me move to the L/D floor for the night. So, I opted to just go home. It was a whirlwind of events trying to get Noah and I discharged and by the time it was all done, we were loading up the car, I looked down at my wrist and the nurse had left my IV in my arm. Oops! So I quickly removed it, applied pressure and we rushed off to make it for the 5pm mass at St. Luke's! Never a dull moment.

For some, May 28th is just another day. But for me it is a day I will never forget! I am thankful for my third reminder of God's infinite love and grace!!!!

Noah is 2 Months Old!

Jacob and Caleb love to play with Noah. They show him all of his baby toys and Noah just smiles and coos at them. Noah is very responsive towards Jacob and will just watch him and smile!

My chunky little man! He is so content!

Caleb and Noah smiling! Caleb loves to put his arm around Noah and he just sits there and smiles. It is truly precious!

Noah trying out the Bumbo Chair.
He lasted about 2 minutes and then he couldn't hold his head up anymore.

One of my favorite pictures of Noah...what a happy little guy!

Noah turned 2 months old and like everything else, the time has flown! I took him to the doctor this afternoon to get checked out. He weighed in at 12 pounds 12 ounces, 23.25 inches long. He is in the 75th percentile for weight and height and 25th percentile for his head size. If he trends like the other two boys, this is the biggest he will ever be and will start to fall down on the growth chart closer to the 25th percentile. But he is his own person, so we shall see!

So here are some things about Noah:

1. Sleep - gets up 1-2 times per night, occasionally three times. He sleeps for a long period in the morning, afternoon and an evening nap. While he still sleeps a lot, he is moving towards three naps a day. I do not push him towards that, I am allowing him to set his own schedule and then I will tweek it from there! He sleeps on his back in the bassinet in our room and will move to his crib around 5-6 months. He loves to be swaddled and sleep in his swing. I have started to put Noah to sleep in his crib during the day just so he gets used to it!

2. Eating - eats every 90 min to 3 hours during the day. At night, he has gone as much as 5 hours. He is a great nurser and I have not had to supplement at all. He nurses in 10 min or less. He does have reflux and is on Zantac for that. He will got into these awful choking episodes and can hardly catch his breath. He has been on it for 3 weeks now and it seems to be helping. He is a slightly spitty baby, maybe 2 feeds per day he spits up.

3. Personality - Noah has such a sweet and mild disposition and this more evident each day. He smiles all the time and coos at me when I talk to him. He can be sitting quite still and then I go over to him, start talking and smiling and he immediately makes eye contact and becomes very responsive...kicking his legs and moving his arms. His smiles come so easily and quite often! I have been working on using the pacifier less and less with him. Unlike the other two boys, he often spits the pacifier back at me and is happy not having it. I use it only initially to get him to sleep and then pull it out, although many times he will fall asleep without it. I also use it for times when I need to keep him happy for 5 min while I finish something up or am in the middle of cooking and just can't hold him. He loves my hotsling and prefers to be held over your shoulder. He does not like to be cradled unless going to sleep and doesn't care to be facing outwards, just looking over our shoulder.

4. Brothers - He has two brothers who adore him. It has been enjoyable watching Jacob dote on him and Caleb quickly follows suit. They are quick to ask to hold him, ask where he is, give hugs and kisses. The only aggression I have seen from them is one day Noah was crying and I was finishing up getting something ready for dinner and couldn't hold him right away. He was crying for no more than 2 minutes and Jacob started growling at him. I thought that was very odd, but better than physical violence. Needless to say, the growling didn't help to soothe him! ;-) Jacob is quick to get me a burp cloth, diaper, wipes, pacifier, whatever I may need. He is a big help! Caleb loves to hug him and give kisses and holds him once a day, but not usually more. He is good with Noah in very small doses.

5. Daddy - Brian is wonderful in trying to help with Noah. He doesn't hesitate to change a diaper or try to soothe him. Unfortunately, Noah prefers me and doesn't tolerate Brian when he is really tired. He will scream for Brian and the minute I take him, he calms right down.

6. Mommy - Mommy is in love with Noah. I'm still in that euphoric, drunk on love high with him. I am so grateful for him. He is such a beautiful baby and a wonderful addition to our family. Since he was a surprise, he is special in his own way. Once again I marvel at God's work and he certainly knew what was best for us. Noah was meant to be a part of our family and I'm grateful for God's wisdom in this matter. I often wondered throughout my pregnancy why God thought we needed Noah and I'm starting to shed some light on that. I truly believe God gave us Noah to keep me busy this year and to add another dimension of love into our family. He is a wonderful distraction and keeps me so busy between the three boys. It is a distraction I need while trying to survive this year in Connecticut. When you are this busy, it is hard to get depressed and my boys need a happy mommy so it all works out. I can't wait to watch the three grow together, play together and develop lifelong relationships with each other. I thank God everyday for these blessings!

Mommy of Three Boys

So what is life like with 3 boys, 3 years of age and under? One word....BUSY!!!! ;-) Before Noah's arrival, I wondered if going from 2 kids to 3 kids would be harder than the transition from 1 child to 2 kids. Even despite all that has happened in the last 3 months, I would say this transition has been easier than 1 to 2 kids. When we added Caleb to our family in November 2008, life became far more crazier. With one child, each parent always had the opportunity to be alone without feeling like the other parent was overwhelmed. We moved to man-on-man defense when Caleb arrived.

With the 3rd addition we have moved to Zone defense, but regardless, I had my hands so full with the 2 boys, what was one more? Noah has been such an easy baby that he has made this whole transition relatively easy. When Caleb was born, Jacob was so aggressive and I had to worry constantly about Caleb's safety. 18 months later, Jacob is a much different child and dotes on Noah. He is constantly loving on him, giving kisses and asking to hold him. Okay, not constantly, but certainly several times throughout the day. He doesn't hesitate to stop what he is doing and go spend some time with Noah, just talking to him and showing him his toys. Caleb, thankfully, shows no aggression towards Noah. He also enjoys holding him, giving him kisses and talking to him. He mostly ignores him, which is just fine with me! ;-) Noah has become known as "Baby NoNo" as Caleb likes to call him since he can't say Noah.

Life with three is crazy and busy but full of laughs and love! I get frustrated with the comments out in public from people, especially when they say "Oh 3 boys and no girl, I'm sorry". Really? Because I'm not sorry. I love my 3 boys and wouldn't change a thing. I have three beautiful, healthy babies, what more could I ask for! Whether they are all boys, all girls or a combination, it wouldn't change how much I love them or what I will do to make sure they are happy. We get too engrossed in what we don't have and wishing for that, that we can lose sight on what we do have. I am certainly guilty of that. For the first month after I found out Noah was a boy, I struggled with him not being a girl. I had set my sights on a girl and truly thought that it was my turn. Of course on the day of the U/S I was not disappointed, how could I be? There was a life growing inside. I guess I just never saw myself with 3 boys and selfishly, I thought that I knew what was best for me.

That being said, through all of this, I have never once doubted God's infinite wisdom and His plan for us. Whether he physically guided the creation of our three boys or he just allowed nature to takes its course in choosing the sex, I know that he only wants the best for us. I have come to realize that my job is to raise 3 little boys into loving, compassionate, God-fearing Men who show Christ's love in their actions towards others. This is an awesome challenge and I sometimes lose sight in the end goal. I'm too consumed with the diapers, meals, dishes, disciplining, praising, laundry, picking up toys, organizing toys, and the list goes on and on! As long as each of those actions is done in love, then I am serving God and fulfilling my duties to Him.

No matter where I go, I get comments about my 3 boys. The comments include:

1. Boy, you sure have your hands full!

2. All are three of them yours? (this one has the tone of complete disbelief?)

3. 3 boys, are you going to try for a girl? (thankfully, this one is not very common. My reply would be, we are going to try for a healthy baby!)

4. Are you insane? (yes, someone actually asked me that!)

5. You sure are one lucky/blessed mommy! (This one is my favorite)

I smile at all of these comments. They used to bother me, but I have come to realize that people say things without thinking. They don't stop to think that what they are saying might be rude or unkind. They are simply saying exactly what has come to their mind. Especially up here in the NorthEast! They are quite honest and blunt which is good and bad. I don't mind the bluntness as long as it is not mean or cruel. Honesty is a good thing and a trait that I cherish and hold myself to. But sometimes the comments can be a little rude. It is in those moments that I wonder, is having 3 boys really that hard? Are they not the greatest blessing that God has bestowed upon Brian and I? Sure they are, but life can be a little crazy and difficult at times!

We only know what we live day to day. It does no good to compare ourselves to others or to even think for a moment that our life is harder than anyone else's. That kind of martydom is futile! I don't know what life without any of my boys would be like and that is something I don't ever want to know. Some people may think we are crazy for having 3 kids so close together, but I see it as an opportunity and a challenge I am willing to take on. Life is difficult now, but as they get older, we are going to have some wonderful adventures and memories! Life is sweet and these three boys have made it so much better!

Thank you God for my babies. Please give me strength and patience to guide them to You!

St. Teresa of Avila/St. Therese of Lisieux

"Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours, yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion is to look out to the earth, yours are the feet by which He is to go about doing good and yours are the hands by which He is to bless us now" St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)

I was made aware of this prayer at Brian's graduation when his boss read this prayer. It is a wonderful reminder of our responsibilities here on earth. I do not read enough about the Saints but it is such a good practice to get into because you realize how human many of them are and what an inspiration to us as sinners to strive to do more and be a brighter light of Christ's love. May God give us the courage to be Saints to those we encounter every day.

One Saint that can give us the courage to do the "little things" every day is St. Therese of Lisieux. She wanted to so badly to become a saint and struggled because her Saintly actions were so little. But to God, those little deeds are a necessary part of building his Kingdom here on Earth. Below is a quote from St. Therese who died in 1897 and was canonized in 1925. We could all learn something from her writings!

Saint Therese of Lisieux

"I have always wanted to become a saint. Unfortunately when I have compared myself with the saints, I have always found that there is the same difference between the saints and me as there is between a mountain whose summit is lost in the clouds and a humble grain of sand trodden underfoot by passers-by. Instead of being discouraged, I told myself: God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint. It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults. But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new."

As a mother I often wonder how I am building up Christ's Kingdom? Changing diapers, doing dishes, wiping bottoms and noses, cleaning house, the little things I do for my husband that I wonder if he even notices, none of these duties feel very Saintly. In fact, they often feel cumbersome and so menial and unimportant. Especially being married to a Physician who is "saving lives" I may not see it now (as Toddlers can be quite self-centered), but I hope that in the years to come my hard work is exhibited in my boys, in their actions, their attitudes, how they treat others. While I will never contribute something great in size to the Kingdom of Heaven, I pray that my small actions are representative of Christ's love here on Earth! This is something I will struggle with for the rest of my life, because acting Saintly is not easy!

Noah - 6 Weeks

He truly is Mr. Adorable

Mommy and Noah..on our way to church!

Look how big I am!

Mommy almost caught my smile on camera!

He loves to watch his mobile!

Noah is 6 1/2 weeks already and the first 6 weeks of his life could not have been much crazier! He is doing wonderful and very healthy! I took him to the doctor's last week because of some jaundice issues and he weighed in at just over 11 pounds. He has breastmilk jaundice and his bilis were 6.7 by heel stick. Hopefully those numbers will drop in the next month. He also has some reflux that is causing some horrible choking episodes. He doesn't spit up much, but the choking scares me because he can hardly breathe until he clears the milk. He never turns purple, but it is still scary to watch. So, the pedi put him on Zantac and we'll give it 2 weeks to see if it makes a difference. Other than that, he is so mild tempered and such a joy to have around. He is very calm and really only fusses when he is hungry. When hungry, he starts to fuss, not even scream and will fuss until you pick him up. Once you pick him up, he calms right down and waits patiently for me to get ready for him to latch on. He is a great nurser, eats in 10 min or less and then is satisfied. He makes this adorable cooing noise while he nurses and has started to look at me when he nurses. His smiles have really picked up in the last couple of days so I have been enjoying that. He is such a happy little guy and what a wonderful addition to our lives. He gets a little needy in the evenings around 7:3o pm and and as long as you hold him, he is happy! Once I put the boys down for bed at 8:30pm, I snuggle up with Noah on the couch. I have a million and one things to do but nothing is more important than my snuggle time with the little guy. Those are memories I will cherish always and forever!

At 6 weeks he is starting to have more and more awake time and really responds when you talk to him. He smiles and coos and will really focus on your face. He adores his big brothers and just gazes at them, partly in awe and probably mostly in shock! ;-)

Noah was never a part of our plan, but God's plan. How thankful I am that God knows better than I do. While his addition in our lives has created more work and stress, his presence is a blessing we could not have imagined! It is crazy to think that these three boys are three consecutive eggs, it really has been since June 2006 since I have had a period. I thank God every day for my three healthy boys and despite the stress, I am such a blessed mommy and wife!

Caleb - 19 Months

What a little charmer!

Caleb is about to turn 20 months so I thought I should document him as a 19 month old! Caleb has grown and changed so much and the last 7 weeks have probably been the hardest 7 weeks of his life. Thank goodness he won't remember them! The week that we moved, he had to adjust to a new "home", getting a new brother and his molars broke thru. What a rough week for the poor little guy!

Caleb is very different from Jacob and yet so similar in many ways. He is similar in that he looks to Jacob for guidance and how to act. He often imitates Jacob and what Jacob does, so must Cay - Cay! We still call him Cay Cay - a name that Jacob gave to him when he was born because he couldn't say Caleb. He has been slow to talk and what he does say is not clear. Jacob was the opposite having such a good vocabulary and very articulate from day 1. Caleb tries to speak but it is often not very clear. It is getting better and when I ask him a question, his receptive language is perfect. He has probably close to 100 words which is far above the norm, but most of them only I or Brian would understand. My favorite is hot dog which he says "Hot Nog". He also thinks that if something is broken, it needs batteries which is "Baa Baa". Water is "Wa Wa" so you can see how he puts many of his words together. He uses the first syllable and just doubles it up if it is a 2 syllable word. I have a feeling that one day in probably about 6 months, he will just start talking in full sentences!

He and Jacob now sleep in the same room. We put them together on June 21st when we moved to Connecticut. They do great together and seem to keep each other company. Caleb is an instigator when it comes to Jacob and loves to harass him just to get a reaction. He has figured out that screaming and crying get a reaction so he will do this if Jacob is bothering him and he wants me to rescue him, even if he is not hurt. It is amazing how smart they are. He loves Buzz Lightyear just like Jacob as well as Elmo and Mickey Mouse. He is attached to his "nigh nigh" or blanket and would take it every where if I let him, but it stays in his room or in the living room. He loves to take things apart and put them back together. He will sit very still for a long period of time if he is really focused on something. He seems so interested in figuring out how things work. He loves music and loves to dance. He dances in circles and stomps his feet, giggling the whole time. Caleb has a smile that could light up a room. He will get by in life on his charm, as he loves to smile at people, engage them and win them over with his beautiful smile and blonde hair!

Caleb at times prefers Brian over me, but he is still very attached to his mommy. It has been nice to see Brian get the chance to have a child prefer him! He loves Baby Noah and absolutely dotes on him. He has never shown any aggression. He likes to hold him and asks for him first thing in the morning. For the most part he just leaves him alone, but he does like to get down on the floor and just look at him! They grow and change so fast and Caleb is no exception to that! He is a great sleeper and eater. He sleeps thru the night, takes 3 hour naps and will eat just about anything. His favorite foods are hot dogs, green beans, block cheese, oreos and anything with chocolate! He loves to color and play with legos. He is also my little hoarder, needing at least 5 things tucked between his left hand and his chest. He is definitely right handed and a very happy child 99% of the time!

He thinks he is as big as Jacob and can pee on a tree!

LOVE that smile!

Hmmmm......

He loves to hold baby brother!

You can take the boy out of Texas, but you can't take the Texan out of the boy!

Jacob 39 Months

Jacob will be 39 months tomorrow, or 3 years 3 months! It is hard to believe that he is already that big. I look at him sometimes and wonder where the time has gone! It has been fun having Noah almost 3 years later because it brings back a lot of memories from 3 years ago and my time with Jacob. I can remember all the hours I spent just rocking him while I watched a movie. I cherished every moment, well almost every moment. Thinking back to how Jacob was as a baby makes me appreciate how calm and even-tempered Noah is. Jacob has always been difficult and the pediatrician told me a few months back, that Jacob will always push me and always be a difficult child. But with these challenges comes a very sweet and kind child. He is quick to apologize and offer "lots of hugs and kisses" as he says! He is not afraid to say "I love you" and is always mommy's big helper! He is constantly getting diapers or pacifiers for Noah and will say to me "Mommy, I need some cuddles, please!".

Jacob's interactions with Caleb are quite different. They have their moments of sweetness when Jacob is quick to help Caleb or play with him. They will chase each other around the house and giggle so hard. They have even started wrestling on the floor. But then in the next minute, he turns on Caleb, puts him in a choke hold while Caleb screams "NO!". Or he is pushing him down, pinching him or hitting him. It is these moments that break my heart and make me question everything I do. How can he be so aggressive and yet so sweet. This aggression surfaces every couple of months and usually lasts about a month. Then it gets better for a while and the cycle repeats itself. I pray continuously that God give me the strength, patience and wisdom to guide Jacob thru these years and the years to come! Jacob is quick to boss Caleb around and "parent" Caleb when I'm not right there. It is comical to watch him correct Caleb when he is doing something wrong because he is usually no more innocent than Caleb. The can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies all within an hour.

Jacob adores Noah. He wants to hold him every day and asks to have me take pictures of the two of them. He is very loving and gentle. When Noah starts to fuss, he is quick to rush to Noah's side and talk to him, touch him or give him his pacifier. He loves to talk to Noah, tell him about things and will sit there and say "Noah, give me one smile please, just a little one". Wonder where he gets that from? :-) It will be interesting to watch these three boys grow and see how their relationships develop, especially since they are all so close in age.

All mothers think their children are incredibly bright, so it would be uncharacteristic to mention how intelligent I think Jacob is! ;-) He asks at least a hundred questions a day and is very inquisitive about animals, plants, plumbing, construction, anything that he encounters. He takes all my answers for face value and rarely challenges me on them, although there are times he has his own opinion and only HIS opinion is correct. I just smile and go along with it. No sense in arguing with him. He has suddenly taken an interest in letters and numbers. He recognizes numbers 1-10 and some of the letters. I am going to order some preschool curriculum for him for the fall. I found some great stuff on www.chcweb.com. It is Catholic curriculum for Preschoolers and Kindergarteners. He tells me all the time how he wants to do school at home and this will give us some more structured activities to do during the day. My greatest fear right now with Jacob is that he won't get enough socialization this year. So, I am going to make a concerted effort to attend story time at the library and other activities to get him interacting with other children his own age! He knows all his colors, able to count objects, sings many songs. He loves to listen to church music and usually asks to sing "Doug's Songs". These are contemporary Christian songs that we used to sing at St. Luke's at the Youth Mass. They come from a great CD called "Songs 4 Worship" which we love to dance to! He also likes Lady Gaga (Alejandro), Taio Cruz (Break your heart) and Black Eyed Peas (I gotta feeling). The videos are anything but kid friendly, but the songs are catchy and he seems to enjoy them! His favorite color is red...everything gets colored red and he notices anything red and will remark about it. His favorite animal right now is the elephant and his favorite number is 3. He is quick to anger, quick to forgive and full of love and warmth if he chooses to share that side of him with you. I honestly think he says everything his little brain is thinking because he hardly stops talking to take a breath. He is very outgoing and quick to talk to strangers and engage them in his world! At times he can be shy, but not very often.

Jacob may be a difficult child but he warms my heart in ways I never could have imagined. He challenges me to be more patient and a better person. God gave me Jacob and my other two boys to help me become a better person and to raise them to love Him and serve Him. My greatest fear in this world besides death is that I will fail as a mother. It is a job that I take seriously. I know I will make mistakes but I will try to keep the regrets to a minimum and always turn to God and our heavenly Mother, Mary for guidance.

The three little munchkins!

Jacob enjoying a rainy day!

My goofy little boy!

Jacob and Noah

May 25, 2010

I have struggled with whether or not I should recount some of the events leading up to our move to CT, but decided against better judgement and will do so! I want to be able to look back on these days and remember some of the details that for the sake of sanity, I know my mind will block out! The first to recall is the May 25th...the day the movers showed up!

That morning I woke the boys up, stopped by HEB to get them some lunchables and a few things for dinner that evening as well as a stop at Shipley's donuts! I headed over to my good friend, Jaime Anderson's house to drop the boys off for the day! So, in addition to bringing the boys for her, I also brought dinner for the night and some donuts for all the boys! I headed back to 4708 Oxford and finished getting things ready before the movers showed up at 9:30 am. They worked until about 1:30pm and then headed for the storage unit. By 3:30pm they were done and ready for me to fill out paperwork and pay them, of course! We ended up paying the moving company $6,600 to get us to CT.

This was a difficult day in many ways. Our A/C unit had been on the fritz so we had turned it off the night before and left it off. It was 85 degrees in the house all day which was quite uncomfortable, though not unbearable. I'm sure the movers felt otherwise! Physically it was difficult being 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and SO big. I was dehydrated and pushed myself too hard! Noah wasn't moving much that day which really had me worried. Once the movers were gone, Brian and I both realized how much work we still had to do at the house to get it clean for closing the following day! I went to pick the boys up about 4:30pm from Jaime's house. They had a great day and I was greeted by Jacob crying for me to leave and come back later.....it made me so happy to know that he had such a good time with Jaime, Luke and Daniel! Caleb was excited to see me and anxious to go. In his own quiet way, he was having a difficult week as his whole world was being turned upside down and getting in some molars...no fun!

I got a call from our Realtor who said the buyers wanted to come by for a final walk-thru before closing. So by the time I got back to the house, the Buyers had just gotten there and were walking thru. They had 2 boys as well and their oldest who was 2 1/2, went back to Jacob's room which was going to be his room. Jacob followed him and I heard the other boy telling him that this was his room. Jacob quickly touted back, "This is MY room!" I quickly removed Jacob and got him distracted! It was difficult seeing the people in person who would move into OUR home that was filled with so many memories for me. It was painful to listen to them discuss all the things they were going to change and redo. And yet, I had to step back and realize that by 10am the following morning, this was no longer our house.

By this point, the boys and I were exhausted and I still wasn't feeling Noah move much. As I headed out to The Cottage (our home for 3 1/2 weeks), I called my mom and melted down. Talking to my mom was exactly what I needed, she helped me put things in perspective, calm down and focus on what was yet to come. My was worried about Noah and once I got into the Cottage, I got the boys dinner, drank a bunch of fluids, cooled off and gave the boys a relaxing bath. They were in bed early and I was able to sit on the couch and just relax. By that point, Noah started moving more and I felt more relaxed! Brian stayed at the house until Journal Club which was at 6:30pm. He went back to the house around 9pm and started cleaning and getting all the boxes out of the house! He didn't get to The Cottage until 1:30 am, took a shower and hit the sack until he left at 5:3o am that morning for a full day at work. I am SO appreciative of Brian that evening, because there was no way physically I could have done what he did. The house was immaculate!

We survived moving day and though it was hard, it was just another milestone in our lives! My only hope is that the move next year is a little easier!

Our bedroom...packed and ready to go!

Jacob's Room

Caleb's Room

The Living Room

Living Room

Couches and dining room chairs all wrapped up!

This was all the stuff that we needed to keep with us and was going to have to fit in both our vehicles...let's just say it barely fit by the grace of God. Though Brian had to make several trips to the Cottage to get it all!

WOW...we have a lot of stuff!

Watching our belongings get loaded onto an unmarked truck...yes this did make me a little nervous!

Gratitude

This seems to be the word of the week..Gratitude! Gratitude is something that always seems to come naturally when life is going your way and the way you have planned/arranged it. Yet, when things go astray and I am thrown into a situation that is uncomfortable...gratitude is hard to come by. Life in Connecticut has been difficult and a journey I would have rather avoided all together. But this is where we are and all I can do is make the best of it.

My problems with gratitude right now are rooted in our house. I am grateful for my husband's job, his ability to pay the bills so that I can stay at home, we have plenty of "stuff" to live on and we have loving and supportive families. The house though, is another story. We have no Central Air...which I thought, "No big deal" at first. Now almost 3 weeks into it, I'm trying to figure out how to use the window units to keep the house comfortable yet not too cool that we are paying an arm and a leg for it. I guess we will find out next month when we get the bill. This house is old and needs about $50,000 dumped into it to renovate it. It is mostly wood floors (again, not feeling grateful for having to sweep and mop these floors, vacuums are SO much easier) that are very beat up and need to either be refinished or have carpet laid over them. I have never seen a house in such bad shape. Everything is "jerry-rigged" and barely held together. The closets all have these ridiculous doors that fall off every time you just look at them. There are four levels to the house and I'm not enjoying all the stairs, especially carrying a newborn up and down them, it feels very dangerous. Caleb has already taken 2 falls down the stairs and one time for Jacob. The washer and dryer are in the basement, so kind of a pain to have to go down there all the time...especially having a newborn, I'm doing laundry all the time! The kitchen is ridiculously small. It held about 1/3 - 1/2 of my previous kitchen and there is no pantry. So we bought some storage unit for our dried/canned goods ($100) and have the fold up table in the kitchen for more counter space. The bathrooms are disgusting with mold and look like they hadn't been cleaned in a year. There is only one tub and there is NO way I will be taking any hot tub baths in that thing unless I bleach it out first. The colors in the house are hideous and there were NO drapes or blinds on any of the windows or any hardware to hang them, so we had to purchase rods and curtains, over a hundred dollars gone. The basement is very moist so we had to purchase a de-humidifier to keep the humidity from ruining our things, another $200 gone. We spent over $500 getting our vehicles re-titled in CT and driver's licenses and blew about 7 hours total of our lives doing it. The oven didn't work for the first 2 weeks we were here and the list could go on and on. So, do I feel grateful? Well, I'm working at it. Life has been really hard the last 3 weeks especially but I keep praying things will get better. I will continue to wake up each day and focus on the things that are good. Most of all, I have a loving husband who works hard and three beautiful, healthy children. There are many people who don't even have that...so that is what I focus on! The rest of it is just stuff. Stuff that I can't take with me to heaven (assuming I make it there). It is our family and friends that matter the most and that is what I will focus on!